The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
do nipples grow back?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
