Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
