We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
