He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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