yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
