jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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