So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.