so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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