it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
