we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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