I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
