plz talk dirty to me
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
