Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize