She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
