an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
