Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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