glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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