where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is Oprah even human
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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