Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
