So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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