Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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