I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
