Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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