his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
