toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I don't think brook has ever known best
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure