Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.