I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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