when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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