was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
