yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
A bitchslap is in order.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
