Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
