So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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