Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
