Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
