Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
