At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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