i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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