i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
