We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
