I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
