I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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