also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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