Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
