your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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