Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
