Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
