I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I seem to have left my pride at pride
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He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
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I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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