Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
