I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
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Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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