i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
