I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize