The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
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she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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