Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
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after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize