Betty ford says i'm here all night
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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