kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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