Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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