i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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