apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
