capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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