You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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