I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
