what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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