i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
