I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
