It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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