i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
