with your own penis?
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
