note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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